Let’s be honest, most of us didn’t get “the talk” in a way that made sense. I know I didn’t. Maybe it was a panicked warning not to get pregnant if you’re from a typical African home, a vague mention during a school assembly, or a folded pad quietly slipped into our hands like contraband. That silence left many of us confused, scared, or just plain embarrassed about something that happens to half the world’s population.
But times have changed, and we get to change the story.
Talking to your daughter about her first period doesn’t have to be awkward. In fact, it can be a moment that strengthens your bond, boosts her confidence, and helps her feel seen, safe, and powerful in her body.
Leila B here, ready to walk through how to make this conversation warm, honest, and maybe even a little fun.
Don’t Wait for the First Drop — Start Early
The average age for a first period (also known as menarche) ranges between 9 and 13, but some girls start as early as 8. That’s why the best time to talk isn’t when it happens, it’s before.
You don’t need to dump all the info at once. Start by casually introducing the idea of puberty, how her body is changing, and how periods are a normal part of growing up. Use everyday language and keep it light. The goal isn’t a lecture, it’s to plant seeds that make room for curiosity, not fear.
Create a Vibe, Not a “Talk”
Forget the awkward “We need to talk” announcement. Kids can smell tension from a mile away. Instead, find natural, low-pressure moments to introduce the topic, like when you’re folding laundry, watching a movie that touches on puberty, or walking home from school.
It’s easier for her to open up when the conversation feels like just another chat with mom or big sis, not a spotlight moment with all eyes on her.
Say the Real Words (Because Code Names Make It Weird)
If you say things like “your flower” or “your monthly visitor,” don’t be surprised when she starts whispering too. Using the real words, vagina, period, blood, discharge, sets the tone for open, healthy dialogue.
When you speak confidently, she learns there’s nothing shameful about her body. It’s just biology. It’s her truth. And she’s allowed to own it.
Add Your Own Story (Yes, Even the Awkward Parts)
Let her in on your first-period story. Whether it was hilarious, confusing, dramatic, or all of the above, sharing your experience makes it personal and real. It’s also a great way to normalize that everyone’s experience is different.
You don’t have to be perfect or polished. Just be honest. She’ll appreciate your vulnerability, and she’ll remember it later when she’s navigating her own firsts.
Explain the Science, But Make It Relatable
She might ask, “Why do we even bleed?” (Valid question!) So give her a simple, age-appropriate explanation: “Every month, your body prepares to have a baby by building up a lining in your uterus. When there’s no baby, that lining sheds and that’s your period.”
Break it down in a way that helps her connect the dots. She doesn’t need a biology textbook, just the basics, delivered with empathy.
Also let her know what she might feel: slight cramps, mood swings, tender breasts, tiredness. These aren’t scary, they’re just signals from her body. With the right info, she’ll feel less blindsided when it starts.
Let Her Know What to Expect and That It’s Not Always the Same
First periods can be unpredictable. It might be light spotting or heavy flow. It could last 3 days or 7. It might come every month like clockwork, or be a little irregular at first.
Tell her it’s okay not to have all the answers right away. Her body will figure out its rhythm, and she’ll learn how to listen to it. Encourage her to track her period with a simple calendar or app, so she feels in control of what’s happening.
Make It a Shared Experience, Not a Solo One
When it’s time to show her how to manage her period, choose tools that feel natural, empowering, and kind to the planet. Instead of reaching for disposables, start her journey with Savvi Wear’s leakproof period underwear, soft, breathable, and made for worry-free days. Show her how easy it is to wear, care for, and trust her body with this gentle, sustainable option.
To make this moment even more special, consider Savvi Wear’s First Period Kit for Tween Girls, a thoughtfully curated set that includes:
- Leakproof period underwear in various absorbencies for light, heavy, and overnight flow days.
- Period swimwear bottoms so she can dive into the pool days with confidence.
- A waterproof neoprene wet bag for discreetly carrying used items.
- A laundry wash bag to help keep her pieces fresh and last longer.
- An interactive period guidebook to help her understand her body and feel confident navigating her menstrual journey.
By including this kit, you’re not just preparing her physically but also empowering her emotionally, making her feel supported and ready for this new chapter.
Keep the Door Open — This Is Just the Beginning
The first chat is just that: the first. Let her know she can always come to you with questions, concerns, or even if she just wants to rant about cramps and chocolate cravings.
Celebrate her when it happens. A quiet, “I’m proud of you,” or a little treat can turn what might feel awkward into a memory filled with support and love.
My Thoughts To You
You don’t have to get it all perfect. You just have to show up with honesty, compassion, and a willingness to listen.
Talking about periods isn’t just about prepping her for a biological event, it’s about showing her that her body isn’t weird, shameful, or a secret. It’s strong. It’s natural. And it’s hers.
So let’s raise daughters who don’t cringe at the word “period.”
Let’s raise girls who know they can ask questions, set boundaries, and love their bodies, just the way they are.
You’ve got this. And she does, too.
